Post Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy..coz I am Awesome :)

"Words"

I envy Grey, I envy Steele.

I envy how a kiss is delivered and sealed.

I don't know why, I thought its cleared

But seems like I love you still.

Baby you're confusing yet amazing..

One smile, you make me love poem writing.

But there you go a bittersweet feeling,

sorrows felt for an unanswered longing.

I know of stories like Romeo and Juliet, even today.

Or of Hazel Grace and Augustus' exchange of OKAYs

and I REALLY ENVY Christian and Ana's MORE.

and yes baby, we don't know what's laid in store.

This poem is not a plea for you to look at me.

Or a plea that you'll like me, "supposed to be."

Maybe its my inner self, walking through the rain..

Freed, and learning to love again. 

Way way back.. I thought it's been years since I first encountered fifty shades on twitter but I dont mind. Everyone's tweeting about Ian Somerhalder being their Fifty Shades and I get really curios but I ended up not killing the cat. Until lately, it was an older friend, an Ate who told me not to read the book coz knowing how innocent i am with regards to experiences of love and all..Oh well, I killed the cat this time.. and I might say I really had a great time killing it :)

Aside from the very romantic love story, revelations, very wealthy lifestyle, and all fucked up personality, what I really love about the story is about reading people. I get to understand. I get to learn. Smirking with witty conversations, tell-tale lovemaking, romantic gestures, teeny bop bop of their "more"... growing up! That's what makes me excited about all of this...

I'm turning 21 this year, and I cant hide it. Though I may look young and sound young and others treat me like so young....but i cant deny it.. I am getting older! days will pass..and I will age.. That's why I realized, I have to grow too.. Learn, mature, and be AWESOME!

I am on my senior year, and yet, I may say I haven't proved anything yet. Life after school. I dunno, not sure where I am headed to.. But I just know one thing.. I am headed to the road of AWESOMENESS :))

Oh yes, We don't know what destiny holds in store, I don't know where these feet will land 5 years from now. But i swear, and you should too.. WE SHOULD ALL BE AWESOME :) No matter how you define it. I mean, I may be headed to the road of rich and treasure.. or the road of knowledge and learning...or both..or whatever. What I am trying to say is, to whatever you're headed to.. MAKE SURE YOU DO YOUR BEST! :)

And for now, and all my blabbering to which I hope you won't mind.. I still have a homework to do.. It's a long day still! and a long road for AWESOMENESS..but I know, I am awesome(and you too)..in my own way!(in your own way) TAHAHAHAHHA! :)))

BTW, Just wanna thank our national heroes who fought for this freedom I have now..That's why I am here writing all this nonsense. MABUHAY PILIPINAS :)

Academic whims

I was a failure


No matter how they said that one should appreciate life and all.. There will be a point in your life where you seem to be not so blessed enough. But technically I am blessed..

I just dont seem to appreciate what life has to offer..Today, I am doomed with all my school requirements. Earlier this morning, I got a message from one of my professors that I am exempted from the finals! Good! But then later, i found out that in one of my subjects, from a list where 17 out of 40 was exempted, I was not included! Shame on me! :(( I just needed a 0.44% to be exempted.... Can I not be a little happier???

I am so sad.. I think, that was a pattern.. It seems like it has been a cycle. I want to stop that cycle! Because I want to be happier...

I want to change who I am. and I'll start today! Yes right now! That's why I am posting this blog.. To remind myself.. how doomed I am today.. I care for myself, especially for my parents..

And not to forget, whatever happiness or sadness I am into.. I shall not forget to thank Him. I know, everything was a test, a realizer. Everyday is a finals exam in keeping my faith to Him. Thank you Father, for everything.. You make me humbled all the time.

and so, I most likely feel:

I am not a failure, afterall.


GOODLUCK for our Research Presentation! Fighting~!!!

Okay!

The Fault in our Stars...
by John Green

(photo from: http://coincidentalreality.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/photo-4.jpg)

(Spoiler Alert: This is not a review)
This is not supposed to be a review or any of that sort but this book I just finished reading hours ago had struck me so much that I cant find my way to sleep.

I had previously downloaded this ebook for free from a blogger..(Yes she provides some free ebooks like Hunger Games, Life of Pi, and mostly Green's book, I think it had Harry Potter in it too). I was supposed to read Looking for Alaska since I got good reviews but barely have I started due to busy scheds or Im-not-just-in-the-mood. It was this awesome late night last night that I cant find my way to sleep. I browsed my galaxy notes files and I found this literature. Why not try?

I started reading the first sentences and I was too much delved about the things I might know into those people suffering from serious illness (Prolly because I had just been treated from measles) I was really ecstatic on the few pages until I came across to Augustus Waters. I become more ecstatic. (Mind you, I'm a little heartbroken too.) 

Gus character. By no means, I cant explain had really hit me through the bones. ( A little exaggerated) His character is like somehow familiar to me, like resembling someone. His cool acts, his being funny, his being a metaphor guy, his being a smart dude, his being sweet but not so cheesy, his being full-of-efforts-guy.. I guess I've kinda known Augustus. And it hurts me.. to whatever happened to him.. I think it might be similar to my friend.. (I'm not telling my friend will ***) 

Let me tell you this one short story, It was like the first series of exam this year, 2013, was over, around last week of January. Since Ive got nothing much to do, I downloaded this app from the Playstore, called KakaoTalk.. I got international friends. But the only closest I got, to which I demand chatting with him every Friday night til dawn was Harry of India. But, I'm not in that relationship status the same with Hazel Grace and Gus! Come on! I just say, when Gus sort of (I cant spoil).. I felt like, we, I, really cant hold on to our friendship like forever. ie, we cant always talk every Friday night since he's busy, I'm waiting, kidding, I'm busy too..(sort of) and its really two different worlds, two different time zones, two different races.. and it'll be hard.. Its my first time to have international friends too! Thanks technology! :) But that, I mean, its not normal friendship like seeing each other everyday.. but what could have been normal from the start.. (I dunno if you're getting my point, but the point is.. that's my point. lol)

Okay! and so, another realization hooked me up about all these stuffs, having a weak body, deteriorated by serious illnesses and such. I thank God, for giving me a healthy body, sound mind and spirit.. along with the people around me, my Family, relatives, and friends. I just cant admire the kids in the story more, how was it so effective with Mr. Green's novel for me to realize how beautiful my life is! How lucky I am.. (How worrisome I have been, that makes me guilty). It just that I can't appreciate what life really has to offer that I've taken for granted everyday like just passing days.. Yes, now, I could have been more thankful! I could have extended more the blessings I have.. I could have meant more those times I said I love you, to my parents and friends. Those times I had my heart broken, seriously, what's so wrong with a broken heart, the most important thing is that you'd learn to appreciate, you'd learn to love! Quoting from Gus, "You don't get choose if you get hurt in this world." Loving had always been a beautiful thing, and I must continue loving the people around me, whatever the cost is.

And most especially, this book had lots of life quotes too that everyone can relate too.. I myself had always this in mind, "That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt." (I told you, I'm a little heartbroken!)  Aside from that, there are lots of encouragement quotes too! Maybe I should try stitching one! :)

This book is a realizer. (Now look who's saying its not a review.lol!) I've learned a lot! (Spoiler alert: Spare some tissue) and it has touched me on many ways.. I hope you too.. Try reading it..

"Okay!"

"Okay... Okay!"

:'))


(Funny, how I ended up crying after writing this blog.. but not cried while reading the book)
(Spoiler alert: I think the word Okay would be sentimental for you too.)